🎈Small talk...
How do you guide a group past the shallow small talk and into real connection?
Small talk sticks to facts. It’s safe, impersonal, and forgettable. Yesterday, I caught myself doing it: “How’s [insert city]?” Harmless… but it goes nowhere.
As a facilitator, you can’t leave this to chance. If you want your participants to skip the surface layer, drop into deeper conversations, and form emotional connections, you have to intentionally shape the social norms of the space. Two simple tools make this easy.
First, offer a clear social rule at the start. Set the tone by saying something like, “The first question you ask someone must be personal,” or “When you meet someone new, start with a question they’ve probably never been asked before.” People love structure—especially when it gives them permission to be more interesting.
Second, lead conversational games that guide people into depth. Give them the prompts, set the timing, and tell them exactly what to do. One of my favorites is Pride Pong: partners go back and forth sharing moments when they felt proud of themselves. It’s simple, energizing, and instantly meaningful.
Time is precious. Don’t let your group waste it on conversations no one remembers.
I don’t know everything, but I sure know how to ignite joy. I hope this email has inspired you to do that.
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